Friends & Family: Their Responses to Your Child's Diabetes

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You and your child will get a wide range of responses both helpful and unhelpful regarding news of her diabetes. In some cases, people react negatively or fearfully out of ignorance about diabetes. If this occurs, the first step is to take the time to educate others. Often, just having more understanding of diabetes and its treatment will improve a person’s response to your child and her needs.

Adults

Because type 2 is far more common than type 1 diabetes, you may find that adults have misconceptions about your child’s condition based on their experiences with people with type 2 diabetes. They may not realize the importance of staying on an insulin and eating schedule. You may also run into the myth that eating too much sugar causes diabetes. Do your best to dispel these beliefs by kindly explaining the facts.

Fear may be a more difficult obstacle to overcome. Some of the adults in your child’s life may fear making mistakes in caring for her diabetes. They may worry about giving her food or not noticing hypoglycemic symptoms. More information may be enough to allay fears for many. Others may only overcome their fears with time and more experience, but they may feel more confident after practicing while you’re around or after observing how you and your child deal with diabetes.

Another reaction to the news of diabetes could be pity or an assumption that your child is sickly. Explain that diabetes treatment has come a long way since Great-Aunt Sophie’s time. Point out that your child’s diabetes is under control and that she is healthy and active.

People who are especially close to your family, like grandparents or close family friends -- may go through a grieving process. This is completely normal, and a sign of how much the person cares about you and your child. Try to give the person some time and the opportunity to express his or her feelings.

Children

If your child is nervous about telling her friends about her diabetes, help her decide ahead of time who to tell, what to say, and how much information she wants to share. Role-playing may also help.

A few children may use diabetes as an excuse for teasing your child. If this happens, work together to come up with strategies for dealing with teasing. Encourage your child to rely on her real friends -- the ones who stand by her. Emphasize that some kids just look for a reason to pick on others -- that her diabetes is only the excuse for, not the cause of, the teasing.

In most cases, though, your child’s friends and classmates will likely be supportive. Some may ask a lot of questions. Others may not. You may wish to prepare her for both possibilities. As time goes on, her friends will see that she deals with daily shots and finger pricks as a matter of course. They may admire her courage.

Other Parents

The parents of your child’s friends may not be the first people you think of when preparing to educate others about diabetes. But from time to time, you may need to do so.

Many children with diabetes have experienced the hurt of not receiving invitations to a friend’s party or other social event (especially sleepovers) because the friend’s parents did not want the responsibility of a child with diabetes. If this happens, talk to the parents about diabetes and how it could be handled at the social event. For example, you may offer to come to the friend’s house the morning after the sleepover to give your child her injection. Just offering to be available by phone or beeper at all times during the event may be enough to reassure the parents.

If your child spends a lot of time at a particular friend’s house, the parents should know the signs of hypoglycemia and how to treat it. It may also be helpful to share her meal plan with them, so they know when it’s a good time to offer a snack or a meal.

Educating the parents of friends will probably be ongoing, as your child makes new friends and as her social life expands as she gets older.

Siblings

Brothers and sisters of children with diabetes may have a variety of reactions to the diagnosis. Some may fear that they will get diabetes. Reassure them that they can’t catch it from their sibling.

Many siblings become jealous or feel left out because the child with diabetes suddenly begins to get more attention. Let them express their feelings. If it’s true that you’ve been giving more attention to the sibling with diabetes, admit it and explain why.

Many parents find that siblings of a child with diabetes appreciate "special time" with one or both parents. Set aside some time for each sibling to do something with you that he or she enjoys. It could be a special outing, or something as simple as playing a video game together. You may find that these special times reduce the number of complaints from siblings about their brother or sister with diabetes.

One of the keys of adjusting to diabetes is to keep your family routine as close to normal as possible. In most cases, diabetes care should fit into your lifestyle -- not the other way around. It’s natural to be very focused on diabetes for the first weeks and months after diagnosis, but work to maintain your family’s routines and traditions.

Resources

Friends, Family, & Diabetes (PDF)
Learn how to make it all work with all the various people in your life.