Diabetes and Grief

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We usually think of grief only in connection with a death, but a diagnosis of diabetes can feel like a death to both parents and children -- the death of your previous way of life (which seems care-free in retrospect), the death of spontaneity, the death of your idea that you can protect your child from all harm. Give yourself and the rest of the family the time and freedom to grieve the losses that you may feel. Here are some reactions that you and your child may experience when diabetes is diagnosed.

Denial

Your child may pretend that she doesn't have diabetes or that it will go away soon. She may try to get out of taking shots, checking blood glucose, or eating unhealthy foods. You may try not to think about diabetes for as long as possible.

Anger

Your child may think, "Why am I the one with diabetes?" She might become angry with you, her friends, or her siblings more often than she used to. As a parent, you may also deal with anger -- at yourself, your child, your spouse, even the doctor. Of course, what you 're really angry at is the disease of diabetes itself.

Depression

Your child has the blues.  She may feel sad, tired, or hopeless. She may tell you that diabetes has ruined her life. You may also experience depression. You may cry more than usual or dwell on the most negative possibilities for your child.

Fear and Anxiety

Your child is worried about her diabetes or other things in her life. She is terrified of needles or of a hypoglycemic reaction. As a parent, you may feel overwhelmed when trying to deal with diabetes and trying to remain strong for your child. You worry about her future or by what might happen if you make a mistake in treating her diabetes.

Guilt

Your child thinks that having diabetes is her fault. She may feel like she is to blame for burdening the rest of the family with diabetes. As a parent, you may blame yourself for her diabetes or for not having noticed it earlier.

Remember, it's normal for you and your child to feel angry, sad, confused, and all sorts of other emotions -- sometimes all at the same time.  Remember, there are strategies to help both of you through this time of emotional upheaval.