Marriage, Single Parents, & Siblings

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Marriage

Your child's diabetes diagnosis is a major family event. Like any crisis, diabetes can put a strain on your marriage relationship. You and your spouse may have had very different reactions -- maybe one expressed a lot of anger and the other felt depressed. Give your spouse the freedom to react differently from you and give each other time and kindness during this difficult time.

Communication is an important part of any marriage, but it is doubly important when you're feeling the strain of diabetes. Cultivate open, honest conversations between you and your spouse. When you're upset, try to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. (For example, "I feel overwhelmed by diabetes care. I'd like you to help with blood glucose checking" rather than "You never help with diabetes care!")

Take some time together ... alone. It's natural to fear leaving your child with someone else especially when diabetes enters the picture. You and your spouse need times of refreshment and renewal. Teach an adult you trust about diabetes care. Then go out for dinner, leaving your child in the person's care. The first time, you'll probably spend more time checking up on the babysitter than eating dinner, but after a few times, you'll be able to trust that your child is getting good care. Eventually, you may feel comfortable enough to take short trips away.

Single Parents

Diabetes is a heavy burden to carry alone. Without the support of a spouse, single parents should reach outside of their immediate family to find support. Grandparents, close friends, and other family members may be willing to learn about diabetes care. Try to train at least one other adult with whom you and your child have a close relationship -- more than one, if possible. Hopefully, this person can give you weekly or even daily help and support as you take care of your child's diabetes.

Single parents need time to themselves as much as married couples do. Ask a responsible adult (who can care for diabetes) to care for your child while you have an occasional afternoon or evening out.

If you don't have a support system nearby, look into joining a support group for parents with diabetes. They can give you ideas and support as you care for your child's needs and your own.

Having a child with diabetes places all kinds of new stresses and worries on the parent(s). From communicating with your child to single parenting, from anger to grief, learn more about what you can do to get through the twists and turns that diabetes adds to your lives. Download Just for Parents (PDF) to get tips, hints, and advice on dealing with parenting a child with diabetes.

Siblings

Brothers and sisters of children with diabetes may have a variety of reactions to the diagnosis. Some may fear that they will "get" diabetes. Reassure them that they can't catch it from their sibling.

Many siblings become jealous or feel left out because the child with diabetes suddenly begins to get more attention. Let them express their feelings. If it's true that you've been giving more attention to the sibling with diabetes, admit it and explain why.

Many parents find that siblings of a child with diabetes appreciate "special time" with one or both parents. Set aside some time for each sibling to do something with you that he or she enjoys. It could be a special outing or something as simple as playing a video game together. You may find that these special times reduce the number of complaints from siblings about their brother or sister with diabetes.